WHAT THE FUCK?

i can blog?!

Santa cruz was on saturday september 6, 2008. It was alexa, melanie, jasmine, don, danny, morgan, david, blaine and i. it was hella chill and crackin. the others who was suppose to go was kt & b ( no money?), chadwic ( had mandatory work? ), jaketheflake ( had to fix his tire, which he never "called" me. )

we offically didnt leave at 8 the way we planned because somehow the fucking yukon battery died, which was fucking weird cas it never has before. and so we had to charge it for a while, and we ended up leaving at like 9 - 10 i suppose?


first stop was gas at ampm, then switched seats first row, don jasmine blaine. 2nd row, danny aeriel morgan. third row david melanie alexa... and off we went. we sang. talked, took pictures, then finnaly the first blunt came around. haha, higggh. hahah nice. we finnaly got there and their was lightweight traffic and the drive seemed like FOREVER.

we parked then ate our lunch, which was sandwiches, chips and salsa, and brownies and string cheeese. haha. crackin, then first stop BEACH! it was hella warm and nice so we all jumped in the FREEZING water.. which felt good. we got knocked over in the waves and shit. lmfao. it was halirous. then we layed for a bit and decided to go smoke again, which felt like a fucking oven in there... and then off we went to find funnel cakes. that shit was HELLA sweeeet for me. haha we almost died. then we decided to ride like two rides which was haunted castle which me and blaine were partners.. and it was scary but WEAK. lmfao. -_- then we rode the tsunami which was fucking halirous. me blaine and mealnie got squished hella bad. it was halirousssssss.

then we decided to hit the beach one more time, cas it was fucking soooo good to be on the beach, morgan and danny hit the water again, while melanie alexa don and david went on a walk on the beach. me & blaine ended up taking a good ass nap and jasmine reading her book. then i wake up from morgan and danny spitting seeds at me, and i was on the phone with my lovely bhfl.

and finnaly we decided we were starrrvvvvinnng. lmfao. so we decide to say goodbye to boardwalk, and ended up eating at woodstock? we ordered only one pizza ended up getting a freeee one too. hah :) we decided to also hit up the draaaank we got in the car. haha..

we giggggin we slaaaappin, but i got bored easily sitting in the shotgunish. haha and my drunkcrash made me sleeeepy. then finnaly we got hommeee, cleaned the car out and they all decided to smoke again, i was out of that and hella tired. me ryan danny blaine and melanie attempted to do a group picture and the fucking timer was hella slow. it was halirous.

and finnaly we all decided to go home cas my dad was gonna come out of the cuts. i drive home blaine, melanie and morgan, and i go home and pass out.

overall. i had a fucking good ass time. the beach was favortie part when i got to take that nice ass nap. i got browner too, i got to get away from the stress and drama that was in my head.

so it was nice to finnaly get away. the thing that started to piss me off was just how i wish i brought some i liked with me. it be nice to lay close to somebody or run in the water with, or even just you know share some kisses once in a while. and so things started to irritate me in general how i wanted a bf.. and somehow it was making me weak.

ugh i dont know. im just... craving for somebody, but with me being like three times more pickier its hard to actually be intrested in somebody here in fairfield anyways.

but i mean god has made me single for a reason, my boy will come soon, i believe. ill just have fun.

blog more later, when i have more energy. hahaha.

computer science sucks balls.

so ill blog later about my amazing day at santa cruz and what not.
work is fucking bothering me.

my relationship/love life sucks and def confusing.
im still looking for that special someone, esp. someone who dosent make me feel like shit.

and a better home.


im tired of this all.
just wait for what im going to say.

mutherfuckin solano.

haha im here in computer lab... on myspace and blogspot. HAHAHA. i can finnaly blog without any rush and blahblahblah.

so main topic... SANTA CRUZ!! im so fucking juiced, its not even funny.
offical list: me, alexa, jasmine, melanie, morgan, danny, don.
the people who might meet: kaite, B, & chadwic.
the maybes who need to tell me: david, jake & go-tie-buh.
SWEEEEEEEEEEEET.

anyways; so college? its easy. well maybe cas i did take easy classes this year, but its like a easy start, cas next semester forsure i will be the college girl i need to be taking math and english and maybe chem as well. shit, am i ready? but i think i can handle myself :)

so work too... is fucking alright, alot harder then ono in general, but i basically know EVERYONE at safeway and know me because im the "little mermaid" and sing the song too.. lol. its nice, so my work sched? this week HOLY SHIT. fucking tues and sat is bugging me. 6am-10am. then 3:15pm to 11:45pm? am i correct 8 hour dayyyys. i only officaly had one.. but shit i shall be balllliinnnn. :)

i havent been thinking much cas of the whole santa cruz deal, which im so happy cas im taking a break from everything. i want to get out of fairfield to get away from fake ass people, past relationship drama, family drama and everything you know. i need a breather. a time to just let everything go away. i wish i can go to a paramore show too, cas it helps me restart.. i know sounds corny right? but its my fucking therapy assholes.

im kinda liking this whole single idea.. even of course i wonder if i like being single more or relationships? i mean i only officaly had 2... cas i mean mike and i lasted for like 3 days cas i wasnt ready for this crazy thing. and kevin and i of course lasted for a year, and got me the feel of being in a relationship. so which is better? i crave for every little thing. i mean EVERY little thing. i miss having the text in the morning "good morning aeriel". i miss having the person who i was able to text whatever it might be, and even a random phone call without them thinking im weird you know? i miss some visiting me at home, and laying down with me talking about random crap and just getting a random bite to eat. and even... you know someone you can help my sexual fustration out. hahaha. is that one of the major ones?! haha i cant lie, it sucks. SEXSEXSEX. DAMMIT! hahah myvcard is long gone. and i neeedd somebody to helpppp mee..
hahaha

i think im becoming crazy. lmfao. jk. no im not, just the fact my mind and body is like drowning in that bullshit, im so jealous of couples or people who are like offically sexually active. haha im not. im in my pause. hahahahahah. holy shit. the bet better happen :))

so with everything else, i got nothing to say about it. im all good. and im happy.
i love my friends, and my life is a bit irriatating at times, but its time to get in reality and time to get ready to be a grown up. im about to be mutherfucking 18. its crazy. and im almost ready you know?

so sweeeeeeeet.

i shall find love sooner or later. ill get my sexual fustration out of the way sooner or later. ill be ballin more then youll ever be. i shall get started on being on the road to stardom.

holy fuck this is a long blog :)

its been too loong.

again, i cant blog because my computer is lame, and wont let me use blogspot.

but anyways, so whats up with me?

im fuckin GREAT! literally, im happpy again. like i finnaly realized everything, and what really matters. my real friends. work. school and def family first.

im trying my best to understand whats offically going on with my life. i thought it would hurt a little more than i thought... but i guess not. i'm moving on, and that i really did try to fix and patch things up. like what hayley said, to cut my tears and to kill these fears. im so tired of thinking things will get better, cas i thought of we could get pass this, but i guess not.

and you were the one who said you still wanted to be friends at least, and yeah i dont see that, "yeah grow up." whos the one who needs to grow up. and if you do, then maybe sooner or later we can pass this up.

im excited for trips like santa cruz and i think in the winter to disneyland. i love my life.

and nothing can ruin it for me now.

im over this thing called love, i mean i cant lie and say that my love is totally gone for you, i just need to say goodbye one more time. and that i miss you, esp. when the little things we had, you know? and you can't say you don't miss them. cas a year is too long to forget.

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.

and i believe god wanted me to have my one year of happiness and love, with one of my best friends. and now its over i need to learn to do things on my own, and one day ill find my love again, how long it might take.

i do believe karma is real, and that people will get theirs.. even if its good or bad, we all get it. so dont think your the only one.

so love is over.
drama is done.
my life shall begin.
new friends, HELLA!
new boys ;)

and everything.

yaaaaay!