type this ater 12 and crap. hahah damn
so my day was offically not boring.
got ian, andrew and don. kt brandon don came out of the cuts. then matt showed up
and off we went to vallejo to skate. i had to pick up kevin first and balh blah.
skated bethel and stuff. then had to leave cas of brandon and kt.
i droped off kevin and picked up alexa :) and then headed to my house.
ate hella pizza thanks to don, and morgan came over and kevin came back.
we atempted to tell scary stories... and ended up nothing.. then we decided to play mafia.
HAAHAH i love that game. hella good. i was a townsperson 3 times then finnaly mafia! died -_- then got to be a sherif... i almost made it then i finnaly i died. DAMN me.. " ITS ME!" lol. DAMMIT!
kevin fell asleep tired and what not. and just watching him sleep, made me crave to lay next to him and give him a kiss on a cheek, with temptation i did. : i know it wasnt a smart move, but i cant let chances like that go.
i hope i can hang with him like foreal without it being weird, things feel a little better, i just miss things alot.
i want to talk to him and ask him if hes willing at LEAST to try and start over, because i miss him dearly, but if he turns me down, i can at least have a sense of learning to move on.
im not looking for no boys no more, at least for the while. all i want is kevin to take me back, and if it dosent work out in the end, then ill just have fun and let it all go with the flow.
no more crying, im proud that i ALMOST DID, but i picked myself up and said no. just think of the happier times and make the best of all of this.
i love and miss you kevin. this is day... 11 since we been on this break.
god. please help me and kevin get through this and hopefully we can change this.
this weirdest thing, im starting to pray every night,
GOOD HABIT number 1.
im offically gonna start my good habits.
lets see what else i can do.
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