my body and head aches

and screams for help.

im tired.. but cant sleep. im hungry.. but dont want to eat.
i feel sad for then again i'm starting to get the hint its all over.

i been having or trying to fun, to get my mind off that certain someone.

i want to be happy again, the happy - go me i'm usually am,
i can't believe how someone can have a big impact on the way i live my life now, i feel sick all the time, i feel so useless and pointless.

honestly, i just want to fix things. and hopefully with the talk happening today, i hope i can talk it out. but if not. my life will not be over, just sad and depressing for the next couple days, weeks, or even months.

a year is hard to forget, so don't think i can get up and move on. i'm honestly trying my best to keep that smile on my face, but its not happening.

i just wish and hope the better things for you, you deserve someone way better than i, i'm sorry for every wasting your time, and making you feel like shit for my stupid actions. i just want the best for you, and i swear i can help you through this all, but i cant help if you wont let me.
' i love you with all my heart,and always be here, no matter how many times i scream, i hate you.
i dont want to take down the pictures or hide the stuff you gave me, i dont want want to put it away. i want you back so badly. seriously so badly... i cant force someone to love me back. but makes you wonder if the past things were lies.

you you helped me through so much, and i just miss you and will probably for the rest of my life. dont think its sounds corny but its honestly the way i feel.




man.

i miss you kevin.