right now im editing my video. fucking windows movie maker SUCKS. i cant fucking edit right so its taking MORE THEN its suppose too. dawh. man.
i hurt myself today.. i fell UP the stairs.. and my ankle is hurt.
im going to the doctors tommorow.
bascially im gonna go to L.A soon.
and that im fucking p.o off stupid shit.
i just need to move on.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
decoy.
so im fucking tired. i finnaly filmed today, and edit: im almost to the chorous :))) its fucking hard to edit on a crap software... ugh its takin fucking days.
well kevins sleeping on my bed.. little tired buttt.
im not gonna write alot in here at elast i think... bascially school was fun... alexa wasnt tehre so first wasnt so great.... 3rd period jessica gave me a caramel appple from disney land.. and we took pictures outside and demolish those apples. hahha audrina.
lunch was warm and fun.... and 5th was boring since i had nothing to do. i had a fatty headache when i got home.. and i waited for matt and morga nto come.. we filmed and shit..
then flimed again when kevinbaby came over. haha funshit.
i think... things are becoming weird.. i dont know waht.. or maybe i do but i just dont want people to actually read what i think... i just think people shouldnt say things if they NEED to do it them selfs... like saying shit because your def, doing it to. just think BACK OF WHAT THE HELL YOU DID.. and wonder why this is all happening to you. seriously dont make people feel sorry for you if you have no CLUE and think its everyone elses fault.
and who needs to grow up? eh. you do. and yeah i agree eveyrone else is too.
dont dare to say no one cares.. because how do we know you even care too?
well kevins sleeping on my bed.. little tired buttt.
im not gonna write alot in here at elast i think... bascially school was fun... alexa wasnt tehre so first wasnt so great.... 3rd period jessica gave me a caramel appple from disney land.. and we took pictures outside and demolish those apples. hahha audrina.
lunch was warm and fun.... and 5th was boring since i had nothing to do. i had a fatty headache when i got home.. and i waited for matt and morga nto come.. we filmed and shit..
then flimed again when kevinbaby came over. haha funshit.
i think... things are becoming weird.. i dont know waht.. or maybe i do but i just dont want people to actually read what i think... i just think people shouldnt say things if they NEED to do it them selfs... like saying shit because your def, doing it to. just think BACK OF WHAT THE HELL YOU DID.. and wonder why this is all happening to you. seriously dont make people feel sorry for you if you have no CLUE and think its everyone elses fault.
and who needs to grow up? eh. you do. and yeah i agree eveyrone else is too.
dont dare to say no one cares.. because how do we know you even care too?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
dole juice.
soooo i wake uppp... to being all unconfortableness at kevins. my back started to hurt and stuff it was ... lame... but then ended up getting ready craving for pancakes hashbrowns and al lthat yummy breakfast stuff, and headed out to kevins mommys house.
she end up making us pancakes, playing wii bowling... and i lost about $10.40...... we bet to see who would win and stuff, 5cent a pin... and we only played 4 games : .... shutup i know. ugh. then watching flinstones.. then heading out to my house to go film my movie.
we wait for everyone to arrive... which takes everyone almost like a freaking hour... and hello im losing valuable time and what not. and of course.. i enver get my shit done.. because ugh everyone started to skate and shit whe ni moved the gmc out of the way.. now im even MORE BEHIND because of eveyrone not taking this shit seriously. hopefully... i can get it done tommrow and i hella dont want to go to mr jefferies either. GAH.
anyways... went to buy pizza and drinks... spent good time with kevin... baked coookiesss for matthew, attempt to make gingerbread shaped cookies ..... watched jackass and some americas best dance crewwwws. fixed my wall and put my wallet to use.. and kevin is sleeping on my bed.. and it looks like piakachu is holding his head. sooooo cuteeeeeeeeee :)))
she end up making us pancakes, playing wii bowling... and i lost about $10.40...... we bet to see who would win and stuff, 5cent a pin... and we only played 4 games : .... shutup i know. ugh. then watching flinstones.. then heading out to my house to go film my movie.
we wait for everyone to arrive... which takes everyone almost like a freaking hour... and hello im losing valuable time and what not. and of course.. i enver get my shit done.. because ugh everyone started to skate and shit whe ni moved the gmc out of the way.. now im even MORE BEHIND because of eveyrone not taking this shit seriously. hopefully... i can get it done tommrow and i hella dont want to go to mr jefferies either. GAH.
anyways... went to buy pizza and drinks... spent good time with kevin... baked coookiesss for matthew, attempt to make gingerbread shaped cookies ..... watched jackass and some americas best dance crewwwws. fixed my wall and put my wallet to use.. and kevin is sleeping on my bed.. and it looks like piakachu is holding his head. sooooo cuteeeeeeeeee :)))
Saturday, February 23, 2008
its been toooo long.
so basically i havent blogged in hella long : aahh which sucks, but its a good thing.. cas i havent been going on the computer in hella long... which is good being my new year res. was suppose to be that i dont go on the computer all the time. yay! but sometimes i wish i can at least blog my memories.
my dad just walked into the room... so im waiting till hes out of sight to write private SHIT.
022208 blog.
well yesterdayyyy was pretty funn, my weekends are becoming hella fucking chill, which is a good thing yeah? maybe next weekend we can spice it up. bwhahaha.
who came over was: kevin, mike, morgan, matt, andrewbabygirl, davvvidd, oliver, hillary, cj, and don.
first we went to see what was wrong with my bmw window, finding its fucking broken so we gotta buy a new one, and i doubt it willl get fix for a while.
then we headed to my house, chilled, rock band, and hearing them wrestle upstairs. hahaha.
had to drive cj home... then watched movie: land of the dead. but i couldnt watch it fully since we had to drive andrew, hillary oliver and david home. which was okayyy.
im starting to realize about friends and stuff. cas i mean ever since freshmen year of course i meet people and etc. i had probably different clicks and what not. i cant always open myself and start calling people my "best friend" if in the long run they aren't. its hella pathetic.
i seriously shouldnt have toooken people in. cas im stupid and always so nice and happy to have new people. i remember the first time i talked to melanie to hang out. to krizel. it seems to all end at one part. theres maybe a lightweight LITTLE bit connection still. it sucks cas i mean you spend your days thinking this girl is amazing. to the day what the fuck happened, i feel like i just meet her yesterday. im starting to get sick. and im def. keeping myself more sheltered and quite about shit.
im just ready for people who are willing to take the time to actually be MY FRIEND.. then finding every little new thing and move on. im sick of getting used. and half the time it goes like that. so bascailly whatever, if they have better shit to do, then i do too. because i got people here who actually care.
my dad just walked into the room... so im waiting till hes out of sight to write private SHIT.
022208 blog.
well yesterdayyyy was pretty funn, my weekends are becoming hella fucking chill, which is a good thing yeah? maybe next weekend we can spice it up. bwhahaha.
who came over was: kevin, mike, morgan, matt, andrewbabygirl, davvvidd, oliver, hillary, cj, and don.
first we went to see what was wrong with my bmw window, finding its fucking broken so we gotta buy a new one, and i doubt it willl get fix for a while.
then we headed to my house, chilled, rock band, and hearing them wrestle upstairs. hahaha.
had to drive cj home... then watched movie: land of the dead. but i couldnt watch it fully since we had to drive andrew, hillary oliver and david home. which was okayyy.
im starting to realize about friends and stuff. cas i mean ever since freshmen year of course i meet people and etc. i had probably different clicks and what not. i cant always open myself and start calling people my "best friend" if in the long run they aren't. its hella pathetic.
i seriously shouldnt have toooken people in. cas im stupid and always so nice and happy to have new people. i remember the first time i talked to melanie to hang out. to krizel. it seems to all end at one part. theres maybe a lightweight LITTLE bit connection still. it sucks cas i mean you spend your days thinking this girl is amazing. to the day what the fuck happened, i feel like i just meet her yesterday. im starting to get sick. and im def. keeping myself more sheltered and quite about shit.
im just ready for people who are willing to take the time to actually be MY FRIEND.. then finding every little new thing and move on. im sick of getting used. and half the time it goes like that. so bascailly whatever, if they have better shit to do, then i do too. because i got people here who actually care.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
HELL.
so im here... in santa rosa. hella bored and shit.
my weekend is so screwed up its not even funny. first sat was actually hella fun, going to benica hanging out with everyone.. till.. when it started getting into night. it was hella boring and shit. people getting all pissy, i swear one day im about to explode.
kevin makes me feel like shit for not staying over which is like ugh i hate that. he made me cry and eveyrthing i hate it whatever tho
im scared my dads gonna look at this or whatever
thismorning i had to wake up hella early to the go to the animal shelter. i went to jessicas house first and then headed out. ended up being sort of exciting doing that shit we are gonna do.. and its actually hella easy too.
i go fucking home finding out I GOT MY HOPES UP AND NEVER WILL GET MY FUCKING MINI COOPER. ALL THEY GOT TO SAY I HATE THIS. they or maybe just my dad does that shit to me. i hate this all. now. can they just say aeriel youll never get a car so stop thinking we will get one. so i can stop crying and wondering when the hell i will get it.
i honestly cant wait till im 18 when they cant say shit to me.
so i can DO WHAT I WANT.
leave, date, i dont know ANYTHING ON MY OWN.
CAN YOU GUYS AT LEAST GET ME AUTOINSURANCE. FUCKTHISSHIT.
anyways ... im stuck in hell here.. when i can be home with everyone.
i hate being on my period too.
GET ME MY CAR PLEASE
THATS ALL I ASK. thanks. update later. i know i dont make sense my mind is all jumble..
and that cookie is tempting me NOOOOOOO
my weekend is so screwed up its not even funny. first sat was actually hella fun, going to benica hanging out with everyone.. till.. when it started getting into night. it was hella boring and shit. people getting all pissy, i swear one day im about to explode.
kevin makes me feel like shit for not staying over which is like ugh i hate that. he made me cry and eveyrthing i hate it whatever tho
im scared my dads gonna look at this or whatever
thismorning i had to wake up hella early to the go to the animal shelter. i went to jessicas house first and then headed out. ended up being sort of exciting doing that shit we are gonna do.. and its actually hella easy too.
i go fucking home finding out I GOT MY HOPES UP AND NEVER WILL GET MY FUCKING MINI COOPER. ALL THEY GOT TO SAY I HATE THIS. they or maybe just my dad does that shit to me. i hate this all. now. can they just say aeriel youll never get a car so stop thinking we will get one. so i can stop crying and wondering when the hell i will get it.
i honestly cant wait till im 18 when they cant say shit to me.
so i can DO WHAT I WANT.
leave, date, i dont know ANYTHING ON MY OWN.
CAN YOU GUYS AT LEAST GET ME AUTOINSURANCE. FUCKTHISSHIT.
anyways ... im stuck in hell here.. when i can be home with everyone.
i hate being on my period too.
GET ME MY CAR PLEASE
THATS ALL I ASK. thanks. update later. i know i dont make sense my mind is all jumble..
and that cookie is tempting me NOOOOOOO
Saturday, February 16, 2008
BITE ME
so i'm waking up like fucking early now for no reason. its fucking gay. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
sometimes i hate being in a realtionship. its like i have to fucking worry what the other person is doing half the time. i mean i dont care its just that my trust issuses are high. and i hate other people too. they need to back off. i hate being irritated against someone.. but whatever im trying my best to BE ME.. but how can i... when im starting to hate that person.
im sick and im on my period. sucks right now. chatting with hillary.. and what not.
WHAT TO DO TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to go.. and do something.
dawhdawhdawh
sometimes i hate being in a realtionship. its like i have to fucking worry what the other person is doing half the time. i mean i dont care its just that my trust issuses are high. and i hate other people too. they need to back off. i hate being irritated against someone.. but whatever im trying my best to BE ME.. but how can i... when im starting to hate that person.
im sick and im on my period. sucks right now. chatting with hillary.. and what not.
WHAT TO DO TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to go.. and do something.
dawhdawhdawh
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
AFHSUIEMTBC
i'm starting to get fucking irriatated and pissed so easily, its drving me crazy. i hate feeling like this.
i'm really sick and tired of how i look. i mean, im NOT SKINNY or whatever. its def. irritating standing next to someone who is def ten times better looking then yoy. emo you can call it.. its actaully a fucking reality check for me. im so sick of this shit. TAKE DOWN THOSE PICTURES. I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM... well at least me.
god. i dont even know. i feel fucking sad. pissed. angry. lonely all in one. i feel like crying but i ownt... because im not gonna be a hopeless pussy ass loser. -_- god. i neeeeed someone fun and motivating. Thursday maybe will help.. but now im losing everything right now. im def not looking forward or anthing right now... basically just having me some alone time.
CALM DOWN. SHIT. i mean its not like i had a bad day or something.. it was warm.. i had a cute outfit.. didnt wear makeup.. class wasnt as boring... after school was cool... drove to micheals and got matthews project... hanged a little with morgan and matt and had some funny shit going on... and finished the project AND BAM. i dont know. thats my day.. and now im mad.
fucking weird right. i dont know what imma do right now. imma burn cds and maybe write a letter.. who knows. FUCK YOU.
i'm really sick and tired of how i look. i mean, im NOT SKINNY or whatever. its def. irritating standing next to someone who is def ten times better looking then yoy. emo you can call it.. its actaully a fucking reality check for me. im so sick of this shit. TAKE DOWN THOSE PICTURES. I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM... well at least me.
god. i dont even know. i feel fucking sad. pissed. angry. lonely all in one. i feel like crying but i ownt... because im not gonna be a hopeless pussy ass loser. -_- god. i neeeeed someone fun and motivating. Thursday maybe will help.. but now im losing everything right now. im def not looking forward or anthing right now... basically just having me some alone time.
CALM DOWN. SHIT. i mean its not like i had a bad day or something.. it was warm.. i had a cute outfit.. didnt wear makeup.. class wasnt as boring... after school was cool... drove to micheals and got matthews project... hanged a little with morgan and matt and had some funny shit going on... and finished the project AND BAM. i dont know. thats my day.. and now im mad.
fucking weird right. i dont know what imma do right now. imma burn cds and maybe write a letter.. who knows. FUCK YOU.
Monday, February 11, 2008
the little things.
my feet hella hurt. today was a really chill day.
i woke up. no school. played a little bit of rock band then washed and cleaned my guniea pigs.
then finnally kt came and got me. we drove went to the mall, then did our photoshot.
ihateeverypicture i toook. i already know the reaction my mom and what people will all say too... that im NOT SKINNY. and that im fat. i fucking hate this. i need to honestly become a health freak again.
tommorow. im on a complete diet. im so over this.
kevin.. seems mad.. and hes hoenstly making me feel like shit. the other days he was compelty fine.. and was being good. and now ... hes being fucking hella gay. its ugh. i dont even know.
im excited for v-day... cas im making shit and blah balh
haha. gooooood,
i woke up. no school. played a little bit of rock band then washed and cleaned my guniea pigs.
then finnally kt came and got me. we drove went to the mall, then did our photoshot.
ihateeverypicture i toook. i already know the reaction my mom and what people will all say too... that im NOT SKINNY. and that im fat. i fucking hate this. i need to honestly become a health freak again.
tommorow. im on a complete diet. im so over this.
kevin.. seems mad.. and hes hoenstly making me feel like shit. the other days he was compelty fine.. and was being good. and now ... hes being fucking hella gay. its ugh. i dont even know.
im excited for v-day... cas im making shit and blah balh
haha. gooooood,
Sunday, February 10, 2008
"tell me why"
so ...... overall this weekend is ALMSOT over but no school tommorow yeeeeee.
dawh. i had a good day lightweight. i woke up with kevin at like 8 and was just sitting and talking to mike... then went to innout. then went to say hi to his mommy. then went home... then went back outside and meet up with everyone at matts. DAWWWWH. and didnt really do anything.
i got to drive twice tonight. i feel SO MUCH BETTER having my fucking liscence. DAWWWWH. man. im tired. and im bout to put a tattoo on.
i neeed to calm myself down. GOD DANNGG. and everyone at my house right now.
:)))
dawh. i had a good day lightweight. i woke up with kevin at like 8 and was just sitting and talking to mike... then went to innout. then went to say hi to his mommy. then went home... then went back outside and meet up with everyone at matts. DAWWWWH. and didnt really do anything.
i got to drive twice tonight. i feel SO MUCH BETTER having my fucking liscence. DAWWWWH. man. im tired. and im bout to put a tattoo on.
i neeed to calm myself down. GOD DANNGG. and everyone at my house right now.
:)))
Saturday, February 9, 2008
ilovekevin.
so technicallly this blog is for... yesterday which was friday... but oh well.
man i had a good chill day. it was very warm.. and i dont know i felt good.
kevin took me and got my the new LG SHINE, and its red. i cant beileve he honestly bought me and got my on his plan. i was like WTF... i knew i shouldnt but he already did it. god he spoils me and its like crazy.
then mike checked the BMW... and i gotta change the key or something. i dont know. ugh. this is gay. hahaha. then off to safeway to buy pizza and rent superbad again. ateee and watch it... played some rock band... DAVID IS FUCKING HALIROUS... and watch a car video. hahaha
SHIT. man. im just so happy i got a fucking fone again.. so techcally i will ahve two fones if my dad ever repays the bill... but imma lie and say this new phone is one of my friends. hahaha damn. idont know. ill tell him later.
i wonder if im ever gonna get my mini. SHIT ill be fucking pissed if i cant. :(((((
i will please sooon. off to bed. loves kevin. :)))
imma buy him for v-day stuff.
man i had a good chill day. it was very warm.. and i dont know i felt good.
kevin took me and got my the new LG SHINE, and its red. i cant beileve he honestly bought me and got my on his plan. i was like WTF... i knew i shouldnt but he already did it. god he spoils me and its like crazy.
then mike checked the BMW... and i gotta change the key or something. i dont know. ugh. this is gay. hahaha. then off to safeway to buy pizza and rent superbad again. ateee and watch it... played some rock band... DAVID IS FUCKING HALIROUS... and watch a car video. hahaha
SHIT. man. im just so happy i got a fucking fone again.. so techcally i will ahve two fones if my dad ever repays the bill... but imma lie and say this new phone is one of my friends. hahaha damn. idont know. ill tell him later.
i wonder if im ever gonna get my mini. SHIT ill be fucking pissed if i cant. :(((((
i will please sooon. off to bed. loves kevin. :)))
imma buy him for v-day stuff.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
man. im hella bummed out. i just got home from schoool.. being all happy since i got to drive to school ( i got my liscence yesterday :))) ) and i see my dads fucking car parked outside. and im like WHAT THE FUCK. i had a good day too. i dressed like how i wanted, fixed the hurr, drove, had a good lunch. and i dont get to see kevin today.
my dads getting on my FUCKING NERVES. i hate him. now our family dont got money. i probably will never get my car. daniels hella lucky for getting a new car and what not.
i do everything that my parents ask for. i got good grades, i hardly go out anymore, i clean and cook. WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY WANT MORE. and overall my phones fucking isnt turned on. wtf. imma kill a bitch. this is so irriatating.
ugh.
my dads getting on my FUCKING NERVES. i hate him. now our family dont got money. i probably will never get my car. daniels hella lucky for getting a new car and what not.
i do everything that my parents ask for. i got good grades, i hardly go out anymore, i clean and cook. WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY WANT MORE. and overall my phones fucking isnt turned on. wtf. imma kill a bitch. this is so irriatating.
ugh.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
sunday.
oh yeah.. im still fucking here in santa rosa.. i been here since like 1?
dawwwwwwwwwwh.
well... last night was good tho. matthews birthday, with yunmmmy food and rock band. then i got to spend the night with kevinboy. wooooo.
uuhhh.. and now i want my mini cooper if i fix the bmw... and I WILL BITCH!
... okay. im done cas robbys crying.
dawwwwwwwwwwh.
well... last night was good tho. matthews birthday, with yunmmmy food and rock band. then i got to spend the night with kevinboy. wooooo.
uuhhh.. and now i want my mini cooper if i fix the bmw... and I WILL BITCH!
... okay. im done cas robbys crying.
Friday, February 1, 2008
fuck nigga shit.
Man... today wasn't much as i plan.
everyone just elft because my dad is bout to head home. im still a little buzzed and shit but oh well.. everyone came over; Kevin, Morgan, Matt, David, Daniel, Kaite, Don, Cj, Andrew. and even audrina sed hi to me..
school was lame... and boring. actually. it wasnt so bad but it was gay. we were on rally sched and got early 40 mins. i hanged out with mike and kevin for a bit then took a nap. then went back home and everyone started to come over at 7ish. hahah we just chilled, bought some sodas and cooked pizzzzaaaa.
then me kt, david matt don and daniel tookour shots of hem and bacardi... and it was gross so i only took 3.. i was seriously only a little bit and its just a little bit more there till now. it wasnt as great as i wanted...
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK audrinas mom called. or step mom, FUCK i didnt even know who it was i shouldnt even fucking answered. shit. dammit. -__________________- this is fucking gay. dammit i hope i didnt get you introuble audrina.. i should lay down or listen to music.
everyone just elft because my dad is bout to head home. im still a little buzzed and shit but oh well.. everyone came over; Kevin, Morgan, Matt, David, Daniel, Kaite, Don, Cj, Andrew. and even audrina sed hi to me..
school was lame... and boring. actually. it wasnt so bad but it was gay. we were on rally sched and got early 40 mins. i hanged out with mike and kevin for a bit then took a nap. then went back home and everyone started to come over at 7ish. hahah we just chilled, bought some sodas and cooked pizzzzaaaa.
then me kt, david matt don and daniel tookour shots of hem and bacardi... and it was gross so i only took 3.. i was seriously only a little bit and its just a little bit more there till now. it wasnt as great as i wanted...
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK audrinas mom called. or step mom, FUCK i didnt even know who it was i shouldnt even fucking answered. shit. dammit. -__________________- this is fucking gay. dammit i hope i didnt get you introuble audrina.. i should lay down or listen to music.
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