monday night.

some photos from robby's 16th birthday, enjoy.
you can find more on my myspace.

i think i been used to being out every night, i forget that sometime in these insane weeks, i would have to take a break from everything and have a little me time, and also remind myself today is only monday.

i haven't been on this thing, since forever. i use to write on here almost every single night or at least something, and i just haven't. nothing is really new, i'm doing the same shit everyday. i hardly don't work, since they cut back our hours and all i get is my guaranteed sixteen hours, woo me. school hasn't started yet for me, which will start in about 2 weeks, and the closer its getting, the more i'm not looking forward to it.

and for everything else, i'm pretty content. its been a while since i been on a long road to be like this, esp. since my feelings are literally not in someone else's hands anymore. its fucking nice to be like this, no one is literally on my mind. i don't have to worry to not disappoint someone, its nice to just take a step back and enjoy things without the mindset of liking someone.

i realized how much i'm better off without someone right now, because about 2 months ago, all i did was stress, cry, yell, be upset here and there, like if i was bipolar or something. and the feeling of that isn't the best in the world. i'm sick of just being in the same place i was 2 years ago. i hate people who think they can just get a away with everything, taking advantage of someone, who don't fucking deserve it at all. at least i believe, i didn't deserve the shit that has happen to me over the years. boys are pieces of shits, they seem to play the same stupid game. and yeah, i'll give you this, i seem to fall for every damn move.

this time, i'm going to do it different. i'll meet someone when i'll meet them. i want to meet someone who will take the time to understand who i am, to know the things i like and hate. to put aside temptation and to show me something real from all these things i've been hiding from all along, and fuckin' just doing it right this time.

so with that all said, i'll be waiting. till then, cheers.

ps: & fyi, oh hell you are not running through my mind.
and possibly, you wish, you were on my mind. sorry sweetheart.
good luck with your shit, and your new bitch of the month.
and when you both bitch out, cry me a fucking river.

to you.

And here we go again
With all the things you said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back,
These words and hold our breath
Forget the things we swore we meant

I'll write you just to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not. (No I'm not) Well, I'm not.

And here we go again
With all the things we did
And now I'm wondering
Just who would I have been
To be the one attached
At all time to your hip?
Forget the things we swore we meant.

I'll write you just to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not, no I'm not.
Well, I'm not. (No, I'm not, no I'm not).

I'll write you to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not (no, I'm not)
Well, I'm not (no, I'm not)
I'm not, I'm not.

And here we go again
With all the things you said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back

its nice to be home.

this whole weekend, i pretty much been everywhere but here. thursday night, marisa&alie's formal party. friday night, BLOWUP! saturday night, monica's party.

my head currently hurts from the night before, i got uber fucked up because i drank hella drank. and then i smoked and the crossfaded-ness got to me. i'm tired, but the constant partying has been dope. i'm going to be upset when school comes around, because i got to turn it down a notch.

and for everything else. i'm happy, with of course the stupid random things floating through my mind that add the random spice in my life. all i know, is that if i can look a couple months back and repeat the things that i will always remember, i will call you a liar and tell you i wish it never happened at all. get a new game plan buddy, because reusing the same shitty lines you once said to me, now to someone else, makes you more pathetic then the first time.

and for some stupid reason, i seem to never to be good enough.

ps: "aeriel, you deserve good people in your life."
well, that was very thoughtful. thanks.

blank

yesterday was a good day. all day with the krisps, went to concord, shopped, saw the bestfriend. headed to vallejo, swoop adrian, ate at LnL and jeremy visited us. and we watched a movie. it was too cute, and i cried a little bit.

and i'm currently on the phone with all my cousins at the moment, trying to figure out our clubbing thing tomorrow... its good catching up with these fools, i miss them.

so possibly wetter tommorow & fucking BLOWUP! on friday yay!

stolen.

"you know what is the difference between promises and memories? we break promises, where as memories break us."

teach me how to jerk ..

melanie7377 (12:28:32 AM): u should let him teach you how to jerk

melanie7377 (12:28:34 AM): ......in bed!

OMFG its AERIEL (12:28:37 AM): AHAHAHAH

melanie7377 (12:28:38 AM): lol

OMFG its AERIEL (12:30:04 AM): FUCKING SHIT THIS IS HARD.

melanie7377 (12:30:10 AM): lol

OMFG its AERIEL (12:30:10 AM): hopefully like his...

OMFG its AERIEL (12:30:16 AM): foot work!?

OMFG its AERIEL (12:30:17 AM): lmfao

melanie7377 (12:30:17 AM): oooooooooooo :-o

melanie7377 (12:30:22 AM): lmaao

OMFG its AERIEL (12:30:28 AM): ahahahahahahahaha

melanie7377 (12:30:28 AM): girl you naaasty

OMFG its AERIEL (12:30:36 AM): shiiiet

http://www.mtvu.com/video/?vid=421732

rocksteady.

you know what's weird? usually i have something good to write about, countless opinions and thoughts i been having, and its actually really good to share.. but of course, i go blank when i reach this part.

well...last night, i ended up having people over: melanie, molina, daniel, jd, matt, levi, filipe, justin, blaine, adrian, b-ran, rich, alie and marisa. play games of beer pong, hella mickeys, hella stoges... and the cops ended up coming because of my bitchass neighbors. we spilt, drive all the way to vallejo, and all post at adrians. he made chicken for all of us, and then mac and cheese and spam. didn't sleep till like 5, and woke up at 730, and eat hella food at melanies then i had work at 1145, and i ended up staying at work today for hella long.

the most things i remember:
- poodle owes me a jamba juice.
- i didnt take beer pong seriously.
- i had hella mickeys, literally.
- the cops walking into my house.
- yelling at my mom.
- adrian failing of escaping my garage. -_- HAHA.
- the trip to acro & safeway.
- tailgating jd.
- adrians fried chicken.
- shot of don julioooo.
- twitter battle. REFRESH.
- cheering up.
- mac & cheese.
- getting drawn on.
- pass out.

and thats pretty much it. nothing special.

& its been so long .....
i think i missed you.

loves not a competion

its been forever since i sat in this seat, staring and typing away. this whole month, i finally got what i wanted in forever, breathing in the nightlife, doing something completely out of the blue, meeting tons of new people and just creating a step forward away from that has been negative these past few months, and i couldn't ask for anything more.

the thing i been most running away from, has been these things people seem to drool and chase for. the thing everyone wants deeply inside, the thing that people crave and seem to never get enough of. i'm in a love and hate relationship with it, so torn for the fact i'm never satisfied, sometimes overly excited, blinded by cute/harsh words, drawn to cute faces and bullshit games, its the most confusing loving shit ever.

i'll admit when it comes down to these weird bubbly feelings, i'll never understand it. i am young, maybe too young, but old enough to know what's real. i been in love once before, i crushed on different people here and there, and no one lately has made it quite exciting anymore.

when i start devolping feelings for someone, i fucking like that person. they are more important then the rest, they seem to catch my attention with a quickness. they seem to know how to take my breath away, i just don't know but they just seem to know how to work the magic.

i really don't know how i'm feeling at the moment. ugh i don't know wither to hate, to like, or to miss. i still don't fucking get it. why... are you still here? have i really let go? and i wonder if you still think also. i still don't get why we are here. and i don't know to either erase, to either believe the things you said once before, because if i erase, then your such a good liar. you said you didn't want to become that person, when you are going straight down that road. i remember quite well.

& i just caught myself.
i caught myself.mp3

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