speak up bitch.

i erased my full last post, long and detailed. i read it, over and over, and i want to slap myself in the face. i'm a fucking idiot, that's all i have to say.




i'll admit, i feel like things are going downhill, but i need to intact a postive outlook on this all. with work, family, friends, my heart and overall life. i'll also admit i'm depressed as hell. i have mixed emotions, mixed feelings, terrible thoughts, and all i feel like i'm doing is crying.

last week, i felt like i was on top of ther world. this moment of day, i feel the lowest peak i hit ever since last year.


i'm so upset about everthing, and what i'm most confused about, i don't even know where i stand at this point. all i ask, is a start over. a restart button, because i don't like this feeling at all, i repeat; i don't fucking like this upsetting feelings at all.


ps: when i left my house, when you said, goodnight, when i got to the city, when i walked into those club doors, when i stood there, when i sat there, when i heard those songs, when i sat in the backseat, when i sat in my room, when i'm typing this blog, i did not forget about you.

you can stand under my umbrella.

and even you don't write me arrow pointing left +3 back. ill still write it to you.