& that's what you get.

For all the things that ever happened to be this past week, and i have learned this is all not easy. My mind is back into state; believing i'm weak and fallen for something i thought i never will ever be back into...but this time, i'm going to do it different.

My mind hurts, My body hurts, My soul hurts to the fullest and its been a long time since I been back on this road. I just never understand why traps fallen into place and I walked right into it. How can I not know, this is was going to happen. Gut feelings, hurt the worse. To know the risky outcomes and future complications, you feel like a complete idiot. But what makes you so different? To be honest, it takes a good while for any guy nor girl to ever make me feel the way i feel now. I'm so lost, feel so alone, feeling like you fucked up, feeling maybe surprised the way things happened, the way i'm taking it all in, what a complete fucking mess.

I'm still confused, why haven't you text, called or even tried to get any hold of me. Honestly leaving me hanging isn't an option. Shit, I admit what happened was wrong, and never had any intention to hurt anyone.. even myself. For the fact you met me half way to create all of this, cut me some fucking slack and don't leave me wondering what the hell is going on. I can't believe i even did the things I did the past weeks, because I NEVER DO THIS SHIT EVER. Since my last heartbreak, oh man, trust me guys aren't the issue. My guard has been up to the extreme.. and finally letting some come past it and making me feel like i'm on top of the world... damn who the hell are you?

I'm tired and fed up. I'm sick of people taking advantage of my feelings, and ripping every last happiness i have left. Just the fact I started to actually like you, it hurts the most. I don't even know what I am to you. You really hurt me. I am hurt writing this all, but in the long run, I can't do this shit anymore. These are reasons why I hate being wrapped in someone, because all in the end i'm going to get fucked over. Even though, I have no regrets, this is just another bump in the road that i will take with me, so the next person i talk to, i won't make the same mistake.

so when your ready, i'm here, because shit there's no reason for me to hunt you down. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. and i hope you and her and whatever you have in store for you, good luck. and i wish you the best of things. and i didn't take anything back, i stay true to my word, and will always be here for you...

till then, i'm done, and i have way more important shit, to fucking mop around, then thinking about the next time you'll say anything to me. so fuck you, and when your ready to grow up and grow some fucking balls, you know where to find me.

and for all my realest of friends i have left, i thank you for being there for me, honestly you guys are the best thing i have left. and knowing that theres good ass people out there, then damn i am so way better off. thank you alot, & i mean it till the day i die.