college is so stupid. i mean i wish i did a better job in highschool. i regret slacking off, and taking the time to actually be serious what am i going to do when im out. its like, its easy saying you will be doing this and that, but shit, when you gotta get the work done, its more scarier than i thought.
i'm so sick of people telling me what to take or what to do. i'm getting so tired of people judging me of what i want to take. its like shit, this is my fucking life. i know your there to not let me fall... but these couple steps, i need to learn how to do this shit on my own.
i just need the time to sit down and read about jobs and everything out there. ugh, this is too much for me. i want to be fucking 14 again, only stressing about what new clothes i need to get, or the latest cd that i must get, and wondering if my crush will ever think of me.
GOD JESUS. i dont want to be a failure like _ _ _ _ _ .
never.*
ugh, i keep gathering more shit to be frustrated about. like leave me the fuck alone, i have enough shit to worry about. my head hurts. i honestly don't know what to do, i don't understand why you are still in my head. i thought maybe writing that letter could be step number one of getting away, but i guess it just made it worser by you leaving with no answers at all.
i keep getting angry or confused when i see anything that has to remind me of you. inside jokes, pictures, anything. i guess maybe the fact.. i know and i swear, i can do so much better then her, keeps irritating one last feeling i still have for you. i feel like i'm crazy or doing too much of this situation, even though i'm still in the same spot where i was before i even gave that god damn letter, just without the excitement and temptation. ugh, fuck my life.
fkgfkefkofkrfkgfkifka
solve this. get off my mind.
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