ZOMBIE

thats what my shirt says.
&&& today is daniel son's and little don's birthdays, so happy birthday to the both of you.

i'm super lazy, like i feel like i don't want to do anything, i want to crawl up in a little ball and eat some pumpkin pie then maybe pass out till its evening. :)

but of coruse, i do have work at 3:45. and i work so much next week too, and it feeelsss goood. haha. the downside to that i get these weak 4 hour shifts, but its better than nothing.

i want to do s much shit, but its so hard with everyone working and doing this and that, its hard to actually have a settled plan.

we want accomplish more bangin' bonfires, go spend and gamble at jackson, we want to go camping, we want to go snowboarding and rent a cabin, and go on picnics, and do anything possible. i'm happy with all these crazy down to anything people. i believe we all need to explore and do shit once in a while, and thses people make it happen. thank you lord.


and with something else i wanted to blog about.
....FAKE people. ugh i'm getting really sick of these people, and i'm ready to kick you out of my life. people can't do this shit anymore, like literally your how old. in college, doing this and that. having a new fucking boyfriend/girlfriend every month? come on please, and you say you love them. fuck that shit, abusing so much of this relationship shit. whatever, and never tell me you apparently "love" me or "miss" me because you play the same fucking role everytime someone new pops up in your life. "best friends fo life" my ass. shut the fuck up, and talk to me when you actually are my friend.

good day.

gobble gobble.

happy thanksgiving, im excited for today. just being with family, maybe get some cash money, some fucking bomb ass food, and just... relaxing you know?

i'm thankful for my bestest of friends, i'm thankful for my loving family, i'm thankful for my job, i'm thankful for having a freaking awesome end of a year, i'm thankful for acai berry, i'm thankful my birthday was crackin this year, i'm thankful for the funest bonfire & hookah sessions, i'm thankful for everything that was amazing so far, i'm thankful for a brightful future, and i'm thankful for being fucking happy overall with my life.

and for all the rest of you fuck faces, you guys can go suck a fuck. :)


&&&
for all the plans coming up i'm so JUIICCCEEDD.

finnaaa gammmbleeee at jackson, gonna snowboard, gonna camp, gonna do this and that. shit i'm ready.





eatttttt welllllllllll :D
yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i cant wait

hands are cold as ice... again

i dont understand why the right hand is always colder then the left hand when im on the computer.


i'm tired, work was fucking gay as hell. i got my 8 hour shift tho. the thing with that tho... everyone left me with billions of carts and literally pushed back 187 cars back, in 50 mins. SHIT. that was fucking hellll.


i cant wait till thursday, paycheck &&& thanksgiving PLUS!! i'm off.
god damn. im happy. oh weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

hmm. imma try to spit some game at this one felllooww..
hahahahahah well see how that shit goes tommorow. :P



ps: georgia don't worry, your still on my mind.
but going away little by little, sucks.. but whatever.

im tired. ill blog about things thats been on my mind also in the morning.
night. or.. morning?!

why is it so cold?

i'm freezing, and i don't know how to keep warm.

i'm actually quite bored too, i'm off and off again tommorow, so.. what a waste of a sunday, i kind of wish i was working today, i need the money so bad.

so, things are kind of just bleh. i'm getting bored. Actually i'm really tired. i mean not of everything, but trying to keep up with everything, phew. i work, then end up hanging up hella late, or either just stay up super late. seesh, i can't be doing this no more, i'm putting my body is a bad place.


i think i either might make a cake.. or do something productive. i'm so bored, and i just been thinking lately.. i think i might write someone a note, or even draw. i miss doing things like that.

ugh, stress is wack.

we will never know why.

feelings come and go, but just remembering all those good to the worst of times. but feeling the way you do, at the exact time can hurt than you can ever imagined.



but you know what? i can say i learned, i loved, and i most. def. am so better off without you, the hopeless trying, embarrassing fights, down to dirty last bits of secrets.



that love is definitely a complicated process, that you and i will never understand its game.

another burnt mark on the carpet.

hookah in my room might be a bad idea, failing ideas, but became beautiful outcomes.
here to another night of random shots of tequila, yummy raspberry tobacco, and beautiful pictures of smoke with fucking another deep conversations about our government and a confusing/thinkable drive, dropping my niggas home. ugh, what has our world become to?


example:

i take some good as photos huh? but enough about that.

in general, im literally scared about life. i mean the simple pure details of life. i mean basically the main factors... if you get what i'm saying... i mean relationships and heartbreaks, drunk nights and whatever it might be... you never notice the complete lies you get.

about our so called "free" country, and great awesome leaders, our powerful religions, to even know what the fuck is even real, and pure these days. someone please help our dear country.

my life is in danger, actually scratch that. its been living in deep fear.

thank god only... almost one.

haha, my clock in the bath room hella tricked me! i thought it was two, i was like fucking shit, i got to wake up in a little. i got work at ten... ugh. but whatever.



i'm happy, i redid my room... well... the walls, and moved my computer and tv around. i feel hella clean and fucking actually have room.. in my .. room -_- haha.


with the whole boy situation, let me put it like this... i'm just confused. basically i just don't want to waste my time on someone, that i can't call mine. in the long run, yeah yeah, i probably won't be over you like THAT... but i'm just gonna go with the flow. :P and whatever happens happens.


okay im done, i need to sleep or lay down at least. :P
gooddmorningg.

you know what, just leave it at that.

its been there.. all along on my mind. and let's say, i'm starting to get really sick and tired of it.

boys in general, fucking sicken me. its like i was finally doing good moving on, finally getting use to the fact i'm on my own again, and for some retarded reason i get myself back into a situation i didn't want to get into.

this whole "liking" someone situation, is harsh and leads you to questions i think no one can answer. why do we always do this? we play games, and just do stupid shit for one good of a second, to just FEEL good. its like, you start forgetting what your getting yourself into, AND FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL.

GROW UP. if you happen to like someone, or even start feeling you have attraction, please be careful for you actions, because you get people wrapped up in your stupid game, and end up getting hurt off of every little thing.

jealousy builds up, and butterflies come up uncontrollably. its like holy shit, i'm back where i started. i mean... like I HAVENT LIKE ANYONE... I GUESS... LIKE THIS IN SO LONG, i feel like im 12 again.

and the worse part is... i feel like i can't stop, even how badly its hurting me.

fuck denial, temptation, and esp. you.

my head hurts.

yeah, at this point.. my head is about to explode. ugh i hate homemade/cloverfield flimed shit. its fucking stupid, learn how to hold a fucking camera dipshit.

so offically this weekend was banging, and this beg. week... was weird. haha. clubbing, kick-its, to bonfires, thats pretty crackin. :D

i'm tired as fuck right now, and you kind of figure i would want to sleep..

but i was gonna blog about something important, i just can't figure this shit out.... hmph how can i put this? tech, i guess since holidays is coming up, its kinda just like fuck. i miss having someone around. just knowing someone's there, and its fucking cuddle season for christ sakes. ugh, this is lame. its kind of like, when i have the time to go out without lieing, i can buy my special someone shit, i can go drive them, i can finnaly do this and that with them, its kind of like WHAT THE FUCK. FUCK MY LIFE. just kidding, but seriously, where's all the fucking boys at.

and i'm starting to hate this whole "liking someone" process, to much work, when esp. you don't even know what the fuck is going on. confused; confused as fuck.

someone help me.

empire. 111408

the club itself was alright, but the fun was most def. crackin. :)

we met up at alexas aound 7:30ish, ate pasta (they did), garlic bread, and yummy salad :). we took pictures here and there.. then finnaly the limo came around 930ish. the trip consist of me, alexa, little alexa, melanie, rachel, kayla and nicole. :)
we opened up a bottle of grey goose, and vicodin -_- hahahaha.

we got to the club around 10:30, didn't get in till like 11... we hit the dance floor, and BAM. it was like rapists coming from every direction. HAHAHA! we all danced we someone... then the song ended and we split. melanie i... stayed out for a bit just because the songs weren't banging and all those fucking ugly ass dudes were comin out of the cuts. "hey wanna dance? what are you doing here?" KEEP YOUR FUGLY ASS HANDS AWAY FROM ME. hahaahah.

finnaly, me and melanie took our vicodin.. and went back to dancing... i ended up dancing with some okay/decent dude for the rest of the night.

watching fucking alexa and rachel.... GOD DAMN!!!!!!! hahahahaha. Even nicole... ohweeeeee!
hahahaha that was hella fun. we got up in the cages and danced and shit... that was crackin... and then basically the club shut down around 1:15ish... FAIL!! but.. we rode back.. and tired as fuck...


and we apparently got pictures on the KSFM website.. but i dont know its uploaded yet...

and all of us got pictures dancing with someonee.. hhaha :)


i haddd funnnnnnn. next time, i think imma bring someone i can dance with all night.. not with some creepy ugly dude. ahahaha.


happybirthdayalexa. :) crackin!
ill post pictures lateeeeeeeeeeeer.

at the club i shake my ass..

soooo right now, we are all waiting for fucking the limo..
i think all of us are pretty fuckin' juiced, and its taking foreverrr. booo.
so its alexa, melanie, alexa, rachel, and 3 of alexa's cousin, and i. WOO.

so tech a girls night out, because andre, morgan, and alexis can't goo..


so.. i know forsure im gonna be dancing for thee nightt... and maybe be perkin' oohhweee!


JUICED.

or maybe mega juiced :)

so happy birthday alexa.
and we shalll fucking dance alll night. OHWEE. <333

i want a..

with a hint of something intresting, with maybe a shot of some alcoholic beverage, with a pinch of hookah smoke coming out of my mouth. :)




tonight shall be lame for the couple hours, of being a safeway slave. then after a midnight snack with the lovely trio. oh wee, that be fun.


but till then, im waiting for my countdown.
FUCKING AYE!!!

:)

fuck you boredom.

yeah, this is just great. i'm bored as FUCK, and its making me lightweight crazy. i mean come on... i hate when i dad's off because i end up getting stuck in my room... or soemwhere in my house with completly left with nothing to do. this is SUPER gay.

i want to have another bonfire, because last time was crackin' and i had so much fun. hope i can have one soon because that would be nice.. .


i seem like i have nothing to really blog about, because in the past hour or so nothing intresting AT ALL... maybe i should just sleep so tommorow can come, i get paid.. don't work till 8... so i guess its okay, alexa's birthday is tmmrw too. wahoo. we are all almost 18, dannyboy or tech david is the last one to turn 18 in our little group thingy.



i want that boy toy, georgia... just come to mama... hahahaha

lol just kidding, that sounded fucking stupid. :)
yeah, i'm an idiot.

oh fucking wee.

so, nothing new, feel a bit older, been fucking happy as hell. can i tell you i love my life, i'm probably gonna jynx it. :)


i like how i have this BALL in my mouth... hahaha yeah i got my lip pierced yesterday :) and apparenly my moms gonna rip it out of my mouth. lmfao. jk :) shell ge over it.


i have really nothing to blog about just that i been really good.
i mean i'm just... happpy. and its good. :)

and georgia... your fucking... mhmhmhm... but whatever goes right. stop playing with my emotions :D

overall..

this birthday... this weekend.. has been pretty fucking amazing, and i swear to lord jesus christ, i couldn't ask for a better one.

i mean last year.. was banging and all, i got a skateboard, and maybe a cool ass party.. but this year.. holy shit, i couldn't ask for better friends.

my "f.a.g" alexis boy, created me a bonfire trip to ocean beach. and what a good way to kick off a birthday. i loved that trip. and i loved how it was perfect, even with the tension involved, but i def. had so much fun, and just to get away from fairfield for a couple hours to relax, drink, smoke, run to the ocean, mark my place with tiffany, and just... being surrounded by beautiful people, i couldn't ask for a better present, thanks you cuntlovefaggotthingy <3. haha!

my birthday party, i stressed, i took pictures, made dinner, played beerpong, took hella SWIGS AND CHUGED THAT YAGGGGERR, chuggeed hella beerss, hit those birthday blunts, my lap dances, my birthday makeouts/kisses, my birthday dancefloor. shit man. i got a yummy cake from like love stephanie! got a drinkable dick shaped .. thing from my bestfriend on this planet :) MOGS!, 50 muhterfuckin bucks from my backbone, and just my fucking mother/angel (nohomo)/takecarer melanie. i don't know what the fuck i woould do without you, damn. hahaha! NO FUCKING HOMO. and thanks mommy for letting me have this amazing kick ass birthday.

i love all of you who made a effort in for my birthday, i fucking love you, honestly NO JOKE! you made me feel like no matter that might happen, i can overcome, and just fucking live my life you know?

and thank you all for the birthday shoutouts, the birthday wishes, and all that gravy, and no matter who you are, even if things happened, you never talked to me in ages, or if your just one of those myspace lurkers, thanks. i appreciate the fact you thinking of instead of whoever.

haha!

i love "my favorite people in the world"
melanie, morgan, matt, & alexis.
for hookahing with me tonight,
listening through my whole SONGS on my computer,
watching COD4 maps and shit.
i love youuu alll.

ps: happy birthday mochila :D

thanks i loveee you x 5438731831048505

happy birthday

i loved my fucking birthday.

i love all you fucking wonderful people who came and celebrate it. melanie, don, tiffany, stephanie, morgan, ari, danny, ryan, alexa, david, diellen, justina, nikki, kristal, jeremy, porter, justin, blaine, sean, kt, danny, matt, jelly and alexis.



i haven't had the most fun in so long, and i swear without the weekend i probably would of went crazy.


i realized so much shit just the in past hour.

fuck fucking flakes, fuck the bitches, fuck the haters, fuck the dumbasses, fuck guys in general and fuck all you people who don't have a fucking life.


i'm happy and i def. don't need you in my fucking life.
these past two days prove to me your just a piece of waste of my life, and gladly enough to not be attached to you.

and i def. dont need to be trippen over guys. i def. am happy to be single. i dont need people to play with my emotions.





so happy birthday fucking me.
and i hope you had a fucking sweet ass time. <3

one more fucking day, bitches.

oh my god, can i tell you how i feel?!

im too motherfuckin juiced and excited,because last night gave me the push i never knew i needed.

so last night around 5ish we left cordelia to head out to the beautiful city.
we rolled deep that included, myself, danny, alexis, ryan, andrew, matt, tiffany, melanie, david, blaine, justin and little don. ( i really wished alexa and morgan came. :( )
i must say the drive up there wasn't so pretty with the fucking stupid traffic and the stupid drivers it wasn't cutting it. we basically drove our asses 30 mins more than we suppose to, to fiund out the beaches in halfmoon bay were fucking liars and were closed. sooo... with the hectic tension, of wasting gas and yelling at each other to do this and that, we finnaly came down to the point to go to ocean beach.

when we finnally made it to ocean beach, and made our mark. it was fucking perfect weather, and bonfire was def. crackin. i'm still fucking amazed how happy i am right now, and how much i really thank the lovely people who planned this. thanks alexis!

so it was def. a pre-party for tonight, which im fucking juiced as fuck. i was crossfaded as fuck yesterday that on the ride home.. i passed out. haha.

i even remember meeting marshal.. city... rebel. HAAHA!
i loved yesterday, and i cant wait to have tonight too :)

one more night fuckers. <33333333

ohh man,

four days in counting with a pinch of confusion, because oh god, georgia.




this week's been a bit hectic, but i'm living. with i couple ups and downs... its all good. i love the phone calls i have with morgan, because i miss him alot even when he's a handful at times, haha. i hate the confusion with boys in general, what to do, and wondering if you will meet me half way, but i guess i'm going to have to take your lead. see my dilemma here? love, hate. mushed into one.

i wanna party my fucking ass off, and get fucked up. and oh yes that's the plan.
am i too juiced? I'M FUCKING JUICED TO THE MAX.

7 hours to be exact.

ill have to wake up and then drive my ass to safeway, to work a lame four hour shift, doing nothing.

i think i'm in a shitty ass mood in general, because i'm literally getting pissed off stupid ass shit.


and i'm trying my best to keep it in a calm enough mood, but shit just keep happening.



ugh i dont know, i'm not even in the mood to blog.
fucking aye.

oh, i can't believe it.

i never seem to know what to label my blogs sometimes, and my room still smells like fucking throw up, its fucking disgusting.

my day was all about family today. it was good to get out and just spend time for the fact its been so long since we actually did something like what we did today. the car drive wa too long, and i was def. bored and getting sleepy the more we drove. texting was the only thing that kept me awake, which was nice talking to some people i haven't said hello to, in so long.

i got hella nice shots of my family, and just some random deers i chased. " aeriel, becareful theres a floating head next to you! ", my uncle's an idiot but i love him. it was cold as hell up there, and it being foggy too, shiiit.

today was weird tho, i mean alot of shit was on my mind, but i mean whatever. i guess i'm just so confused about this whole boy situation.. its like .. should i give a chance to the guy that ... i'm sort of not feelin? should i still try to see what's up with the guy i never knew who i'm about to fall for? or should i try again with the person who seemed to just flake on everything before. so what the fuck do i do? its like if i turn that one way, i'll never know what can happen over there the other... or its like would he even give me a chance, ir is it.. hes just playing games.

ugh, but the power of knowing theres like 3 to 4 people out there tryin to hollerrr... hahahaha :) damn it sort of feels..... good.

and for everything else i found out today... big wow. your a fucking idiot.


mhm.

7 more days, so fucking excited. :)

what a weekend..

so far. haha, so how was halloween for you fuckface?

minee, hmph. haha i worked, getting depressed every moment i saw a group of epople come in all dressed up, where im likeee nooooo, i coulda even dressed up for halloween, but no one gave me info on it :, but after work i did get to see some lovely people, matt, alexis, justin, blaine and alfie, hoped on one timer and then we spilt to go to jack in the box. LOL. the most stupidest funniest thing ever. hahaha. i won the game. :)

then later after... i meet up with mr. "s.c". what the FUCK. hahah randommm. it was like fucking 2 and we sat, rolled, and then.. just chilled yeah? it was kinda like weird tho... hmm.. but well see. hes cute tho.. : but am i feeeelin him?... DAMMIT!
i fucking didnt even go home till like 4, and everyone was like aww your so tired from work when i woke up.. i was like .. eheheh.... -_-

i had this crazy ass debate with my uncle and my dad.. hahahah it was fucking hailrous, and my dads an idiot. -_- NO ON PROP8 :)


last night was pretty chill even if it was like at 7 when we hanged.
waste of time to drive down to vaca.... GAS ESP!

but then chill at my house, and watched donnie darko.
mmm apple jacks!


and georgia. WHAT THE HELL. i hate you : hahah justkidding, only because ... YOU! you confuseeee me. and thats why i don't wanna do nothing with "s.c".

seesh.

7 mo days for my bday. OMG a week.
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

off to hang with the fam... i hope we go shopping :D ohwee.