monday night.

some photos from robby's 16th birthday, enjoy.
you can find more on my myspace.

i think i been used to being out every night, i forget that sometime in these insane weeks, i would have to take a break from everything and have a little me time, and also remind myself today is only monday.

i haven't been on this thing, since forever. i use to write on here almost every single night or at least something, and i just haven't. nothing is really new, i'm doing the same shit everyday. i hardly don't work, since they cut back our hours and all i get is my guaranteed sixteen hours, woo me. school hasn't started yet for me, which will start in about 2 weeks, and the closer its getting, the more i'm not looking forward to it.

and for everything else, i'm pretty content. its been a while since i been on a long road to be like this, esp. since my feelings are literally not in someone else's hands anymore. its fucking nice to be like this, no one is literally on my mind. i don't have to worry to not disappoint someone, its nice to just take a step back and enjoy things without the mindset of liking someone.

i realized how much i'm better off without someone right now, because about 2 months ago, all i did was stress, cry, yell, be upset here and there, like if i was bipolar or something. and the feeling of that isn't the best in the world. i'm sick of just being in the same place i was 2 years ago. i hate people who think they can just get a away with everything, taking advantage of someone, who don't fucking deserve it at all. at least i believe, i didn't deserve the shit that has happen to me over the years. boys are pieces of shits, they seem to play the same stupid game. and yeah, i'll give you this, i seem to fall for every damn move.

this time, i'm going to do it different. i'll meet someone when i'll meet them. i want to meet someone who will take the time to understand who i am, to know the things i like and hate. to put aside temptation and to show me something real from all these things i've been hiding from all along, and fuckin' just doing it right this time.

so with that all said, i'll be waiting. till then, cheers.

ps: & fyi, oh hell you are not running through my mind.
and possibly, you wish, you were on my mind. sorry sweetheart.
good luck with your shit, and your new bitch of the month.
and when you both bitch out, cry me a fucking river.

to you.

And here we go again
With all the things you said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back,
These words and hold our breath
Forget the things we swore we meant

I'll write you just to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not. (No I'm not) Well, I'm not.

And here we go again
With all the things we did
And now I'm wondering
Just who would I have been
To be the one attached
At all time to your hip?
Forget the things we swore we meant.

I'll write you just to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not, no I'm not.
Well, I'm not. (No, I'm not, no I'm not).

I'll write you to let you know that I'm alright
Can't say I'm sad to see you go
Cause I'm not (no, I'm not)
Well, I'm not (no, I'm not)
I'm not, I'm not.

And here we go again
With all the things you said
And not a minute spent
To think that we'd regret
So we just take it back

its nice to be home.

this whole weekend, i pretty much been everywhere but here. thursday night, marisa&alie's formal party. friday night, BLOWUP! saturday night, monica's party.

my head currently hurts from the night before, i got uber fucked up because i drank hella drank. and then i smoked and the crossfaded-ness got to me. i'm tired, but the constant partying has been dope. i'm going to be upset when school comes around, because i got to turn it down a notch.

and for everything else. i'm happy, with of course the stupid random things floating through my mind that add the random spice in my life. all i know, is that if i can look a couple months back and repeat the things that i will always remember, i will call you a liar and tell you i wish it never happened at all. get a new game plan buddy, because reusing the same shitty lines you once said to me, now to someone else, makes you more pathetic then the first time.

and for some stupid reason, i seem to never to be good enough.

ps: "aeriel, you deserve good people in your life."
well, that was very thoughtful. thanks.

blank

yesterday was a good day. all day with the krisps, went to concord, shopped, saw the bestfriend. headed to vallejo, swoop adrian, ate at LnL and jeremy visited us. and we watched a movie. it was too cute, and i cried a little bit.

and i'm currently on the phone with all my cousins at the moment, trying to figure out our clubbing thing tomorrow... its good catching up with these fools, i miss them.

so possibly wetter tommorow & fucking BLOWUP! on friday yay!