this week needs to end fast.

"breathe for love tomorrow, because there's no hope for today.
breathe for love tomorrow, because maybe there's another way."

sometimes i don't know what i do with myself. i sit and wonder all day about things that don't make sense anymore. for the reasons why they still exist, why they still even matter, and why i fucking still give a damn.

these past two weeks have been really stressful, boring, and lame. i think i had way too much free time, so the over thinking begins. i been thinking too much about life in general, in the categories of work, school, family, money, friends, crushes, just about everything you can think about.

i think when i decided i wanted to put my life back on track, i didn't know it could of get more complicated then this. i haven't touched a blunt, a joint, a pipe since sunday, and it feels good to pass it all up. i know it might not seem like such a long time, yeah four days to be exact... but the way i used to smoke, you have no idea. i feel accomplished that i actually saved money, i'm starting to focus on school alot more, and just to have that feeling of knowing i don't need it, feels pretty god damn good. all power to me.

i felt like i haven't seen my best-est friends, even if it has been only a couple days, a week or so... but to me, those days seem like almost forever, it kills me everyday. i hate busy and mixed up schedules, its really hard to get everyone together, even if its for a couple minutes. i feel torn and lost for friendships that seem to be missing, the ones that feel like their on hold, and i don't like it one bit. i try to keep positive as possible, but at same time, how can i, if the effort is not even 50, 50... its like more of just one person trying, while the other seems like they could careless. you don't know how much it hurts when i'm in situations like this. i get nervous and scared when i feel like i'm loosing someone, especially if the reasons are the REASONS why? its bullshit. all i'm going to say is please don't forget about me, and i hope you are actually really happy with everything you have.

and for everything else, i'm confused, if things don't get any better soon, i'm moving on and that's that.

ps: and yeah and i do like this song by justin bieber.