answer

confusion sucks to the fullest.

i hope i'm not late. i hope you won't get mad at me if someone grabs my attention. i hope i'm not making a mistake.

and i hope you don't forget about me.

movies round two

i got to watch another movie today, but this time free with twin and robert. the movie was pretttttyyy good, except i kept laughing because twin's sarcasm and when robert told be the end... "watch this part, its hella gay." * in the movie : " ... when will we see you again?.." * ahahahaha if you watch it, you'll understand. thanks for another chill day.

full of goods

one blunt of pre-planning with melanie and morgan, one blunt & some bowls before the movie joined by filipe, this movie, and another good movie after blunt. i defiantly needed this chill day, thank you guys.

it was too good to be true.

one fucking MAJOR thing that i absolutely fucking hate?

FUCKING LIARS.

i don't fucking understand the concept of lies, especially when the situation could be totally avoided with pure honesty. sure, yeah i probably wouldn't want to hear the answer i will get, but the fucking TRUTH is way more better then fucking hearing it days later or from some else.

i always get stuck with replays of fucking pathetic immature fucking people. yay fucking me.

mr. somebody.

i'm tired and sick of excuses. why don't you act your age, and just be honest with yourself and i. don't try to play some stupid bullshit game, when the days we are apart you make sure i won't leave, to make sure i won't use the time i have for someone else but you.

i'm confused, but maybe i deserve it. the more and more i think about it, i'm starting to get less positive feelings about you... but there is always something that brings me back.. i still don't know what, still don't know why..

someone help, because i'm restless and hopeless for seeking for my answer.

use somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody



* : i fucking love hayley, and how she could make a song way better, i kill for a voice like hers. and this song will always remind me of you.

the question is..

" what do i really want? "

blowup<3

you got me in a dilemma.

days like this don't make sense. the fact is all gloomy, and rain being definitely bipolar, its hard to say if i should be a lazy son of a bitch, that will rethink thoughts that haven't been touched in days or either be awake and active and say, FUCK THE WORLD and let me out of this god damn house.

i'm a tad bit confused. i still think about you, even with my thoughts of foggy answers, its all mumble jumble. i wish i just had a straight defiant answer about this whole thing. i try to re-track my steps and remember whos actually winning the race. every time i get a positive outlook about someone, i try to remember what can knock that extra point off.

people don't get it at all, times like this is such heart racing dilemma, it has the touch of enjoyment, lust, satisfaction, temptation, but all pure selfishness that can get karma biting you right in the ass. i wish i was just satisfied with ONE thing, and move on to enjoying it... but of course, it never works like that.there is always something wrong , always something missing, and you have to keep going because you want more.. more, in fact it keeps you wanting to add more confusing spice into the game.

i wish you, you would give me the time to show you who i am, to push all those god damn stupid reasons why you and me can't work. why someone can be such a fucking game killer, when he shouldn't even be one of the reasons why.

i wish you, could stop confusing the hell out of me, being fucking bipolar to the fact one night you want to act like everything is just you and i, and when you get that chance, you don't take that advantage to the fullest.

i wish you, the rest of you, could give a fucking good reason why... why you WANT to spend time with me, why out of all people you want to try with me. i don't get why me, and why now?

hello, 2010.

god damn, it has been ages since i decided to open up a blank post and try at least to jot something down. holy shit, did you know its 2010? happy new year folks, and i hope its been treating you well, because for me?.. its been pretty outrageously amazing.

new years was a breeze, almost missing the countdown literally 4 minutes away. that night was intense with all day high, with shots after shots of hennesy, i was pretty gone. everything so far has been good, work's decent with all these new managers flying in and out i almost forgot i was at work. school is easy, just hoping this year i don't slack off so i can pass this course with a breeze.

i been living life to the fullest, trying to keep each thought with a positive outlook, no matter what is happening. i been keeping myself busy with waking up early, keeping myself active and taking control of my days. i admit, i still smoke everyday: pipes, joints, blunts, you name it. i am a "pothead" whatever you would like to call it, but sooner or later i'm gonna have to end this streak.

boys are a funny subject, for the fact things are good but the fact my options are a laid out variety. i'm happy and content, and hopefully things don't get out of control. i'm still looking and still out having fun with an open mindset and finding out what could be mine next. ;) i have my eye out on that certain somebody and i hope there can be something in the future.

smoke sessions, kings cup, beer pong, flip cup, movies, hookah bar, blow up, parties, kickits, and hopefully more to come. ahhh 2010, you are looking mighty fine.

my computer is alive, so i can blog again...

but today again, i am lazy to write what has been happening.

happy new year.

i didn't have anything fancy to explain that crazy year, it wasn't the best, but i sure will not forget it.

i'm ready for new things, more new people, adventures and all that good jazz.