nonsense

i still can't tell if the days seem to go by quicker more than ever, i'm still in complete shock x-mas is actually here less than a week. i'm shaken that i'm not going to have these presents ready by then, to not be late on any x-mas spirit and to be sad that i'm going to miss it physically and mentality.

i haven't seen my mother in days, its like now she's out, when i'm out, or either when i'm out she's home, i'm out she's home. the only time i ever come in contact is when we have time to talk to each other... which is when we talk on the phone.. about that... i don't like this at all.

i feel like im just lazy, and tired. i'm just pretty much being the one on the side laughing at everyone and doing my own thing. i don't want a develop a relationship with anyone, even though right now i have a baby crush on someone. i just want to take it slow and thats all i want. oh yeah, i have smoked every day, i don't know why, but i do.

ill make changes soon...... i cannot wait for dec. 22. i cannot wait for snow trip. i cannot wait for this year is over.