i am lost.

i feel sick. i don't want to work at 10, and do some stupid ass training, that i already know. fuck, safeway is freakin' retarded. my friday night was ... mostly chill, nothing great, but chill. i got hella blasted, and guess what? i rolled my first blunt -_-. not the best, but smoke - able right?

i hate when i have to go to work like this, like this as in... having too much shit on my mind. still because confused as fuck. wondering maybe its time to stop, and maybe i should just pack my things and go. as for now, i really don't see the point of staying anymore. this is so pointless.

the saddest part is, i had a surprise for you. and the surprise is going dead by day, as it sits in my room. i hate the part where i think i should go return it and maybe just keep it for myself. but i know i'm not, i got it for a reason, and i'm sticking to that reason. i feel like no time is for me anymore, and not even just a tad bit. i hate being in denial, and just being left and forgotten. this sucks, literally. but again, there's more things more important to focus on then me right?

so, if you somehow had time to read this, all i ask is time to spare for me, at least for like 10 mins. to give you this and maybe this time, tell you how i feel. thanks.

bye, 9 hours at gayway. gah.

i cannot wait for. paramore in july. camping in august. turning 19 this year. and hopefully and actually go to the place i wanted to go for almost 3 years. bye.