i'm singing, practicing my vocals. i'm deciding now, i need to change and start creating major goals for myself. the longer i procrastinate, the longer none of this shit will ever happen. this is where the stressing begins.
my day started off lazy as usual, waking up around 10, fall back asleep for a little more. finnaly wake up and just slump around. finally got semi-ready and was hella janky, because blaine gave me like a ten second warning. we go and burn some good shit. got hella high, planning our beryessa trip next week. i head home, go change and go to blaine's to meet up and we head out to go watch "the last house on the left". got neg. snacks because ampm was being hella homo and was like only cash right now... and me and blaine both spent like 6 dollars for snacks. there was like 6 people there with us watching the movie... the movie was wasn't too bad. i actually enjoyed it, i got scared -_- and had a good laugh at moments. go split... and the rest of the day i spend it with my mommy; get my paycheck, go to goodwill, and went to walmart.
now i'm done practing, i might actually want to improve my voice.. so me and blaine lightweight wanna take some class to learn yeah? because at the picnic we had on tuesday; singing was fun. haha, me and twin played pressure; i still kinda sounded like shit still, but its all good!
money wise, i need to pay bankofamerica back and i can finnaly start saving up for good. just seeing all the money i finnaly got together; its like a reality check for me. FUCK. i hate money. haha, and i need to save to get all the shit i currently want:
- paramore tickets.
i still havent bought my shit D: .. ugh i'm just kind of being whatever, if i'm there; thats all that matters.
- digital camera.
film is fucking kills me; and plus developing?! fuck... i just need a camera; don't know if i either want a cannon or nikon. well see...
- car.
liars; liars. im not going to get my hopes up; but my big brother said he can help me out, which finnaly sounds actually real.
- bike.
its something i don't really need, but i'm getting that shit! i said i would, it was part of my eighteen birthday list.
- gym pass.
me and melanie planned to get that shit; and i wanna get back in shape.. and work on body; and put myself on a strict ass diet like before... because i'm ready!
by the end of the year; i think i'm going to become a full veggie. or at least whenever i get a place thats the new start for that. if i wanna improve my voice i think i'm bout to give up dairy. or at least cut back, esp on cheese. ugh, it will be hard; but if i gave up beef and pork. shit i can do the rest.
i'm cracking up because all these dudes are coming out of no where! fuck; its hella flatteringgg. ahha, it makes me feel good about myself. confidence is become alot better; from all the past years. i had major issues back then. i would wanna starve myself and i actually did. threw up a couple or times. i hated the way i looked and esp with fucking neg people out there, fuck self esteem was at it lowest. but now; i feel good. and i really dont give a shit. i'm getting people who i would never except to be talking to. and others.. i can see why. which is the bad part.. because you end up not knowing which dudes who actually want to get to know you, while the others just want a one night stand. fuck you; and all that relationship shit.. is BULLSHIT. esp; when last year's drama was just too much. people are fucked up and i'm not going through that shit again.
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