one last time.

the way i'm feeling right at this moment i'm completely in a up and down mood, it's quite tiring for my mind, body and soul.

i don't even know where to start explain the shit i'm going to say in the next few paragraphs, and thats pretty sad, because i been holding this in and wanted to say every last thing to your face but you know what there's no time for that shit.

ms. audrina miranda, oh my fucking god. for the fact you say that apparently i'm never in quote quote your blogs, stop playing fucking stupid. its so weird how this all started, this whole blog to blog shit it would have never happened if you never made a fucking dumb comment about someone's relationship ending up almost over a year, bitch i know you were fucking talking about mine and kevin's.

this past year all i can think about, how fucking stupid of me for ever becoming friends and trying to even make you apart of my life. for the shit i done for you, its so sad what i got in return. i never ever disliked or hated anyone in my life, as much as i fucking can't stand you. holy fucking shit, i'm literally one of the nicest people here in fairfield. you can ask anyone i swear there answer is i am one of the nicest people there. i have no drama, don't have probelms with anyone until i met you.

i'm not gonna lie, the time you and i were friends, you were god damn cool but as i got to know the real you, the uglier your personality/actions/just what kind of person you are got more and more. out of the eighteen years of my life, i never met a stupid, horrible, dirty, sneaky, selfish ass bitch ever. and holy shit i been through so much shit, and to be my queen of all hate thats fucking sad as hell. and just to know i even went down that path it fucking makes me sick to my stomach.

your the whole fucking reason me and kevin drifted apart. every once in a while the question that always pop in my head is that, if i never met you, i wonder if me and kevin would have been together till this day. you fucking took away the person i loved most. he was my fucking boyfriend for heaven sakes, even my bestfriend. before you said one time in your blog that you never phase me and that i'm stronger than that. and bitch, yes i am pretty fucking strong but just for the fact you pulled that shit behind my back, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? look now, you and kevin aren't even talking or whatever your relationship is with him. both of you guys are so fucking stupid for ever thinking you guys would have been together, but are you happy, you guys got your one minute of "love" ,pretty much worth it right?

its so funny how you say you and "chad" are so strong. because oh man, you were willing to cheat on sergio for him. you were willing to cheat on chad to go with morgan. you were willing to play chad and morgan to go fuck around with your bestfriend at the time's BOYFRIEND. bitch never fucking ever bag on other peoples past relationships when your past/relationship is fucking dirty as fuck. i feel so bad for chad, because god damn hes a good guy, and he has to deal with your fucking bullshit all the time. how the fuck does he trust you? i wish he can realize he can do so much better, its sad.

i'll say whatever the fuck i want. do whatever the fuck i want. this is what you wanted all along, drama drama drama, you can go ahead and write me another blog come back because i really don't give a fuck. because of you i can't fucking trust no one. fucking dirty ass bitch, i fucking can't believe you. go ahead go on with your so called "life". no one gives a fuck about you, the people at rod, people in fairfield you won't see them again after you graduate and oh yeah family don't count. fucking cry me a river.

but there is one thing i can thank you for. for making me realize it was time to wake up for reality. time to realize kevin isn't the only person out there, i know i can be loved and get treated the way, i deserve. take time to choose the people i meet so i don't end up getting another fucked up person brought into my life like you. to fucking realize that there is still a couple good people out there, because the friends i do have now, they are my everything and that their is hope after a shitty ass heartbreak.

right now all i want to do is throw up, scream, cry, laugh, break something, go smoke a cigagrette, give someone a hug, oh my god, anything. i'm just so sick of this. i'm fucking tired of holding a grudge, because i'm not that type of person and i swear i tried to let go.. but something kept holding me back. because i never been so hurt in my life. i never met people that i thought i cared about to fuck me over in the long run. what i did for people these past eighteen years, yes i do regret alot, but you know what shit happens right? i still don't understand till this day and from this day on, why do people do this? and for the people who just seem to get put in situations like that? its not fair, but i guess its time to bite the bullet.

karma is a real bitch, and everyone will get theres, even me. i will never know why do we like to hurt. i will never understand the mistakes i had and the future ones coming right at me. i will never know how love works and forsure never know why'd i had to go through this but in the long run, i love my life and i'll keep going like that till i take my last breathe on this fucked up world.


drop your lurkers, ill drop mine. and for a future refrence; if you have something to say about my friends, my past relationships and my life in fucking general since you like fucking shit up, fucking find me bitch, and i'll give you a piece of my mind. and youll never find a friend like me. your fucking lost, good luck with your shit.