damn right.

let's do this simple and straight to the point;

no matter what happened to me in the past days, weeks, and months, i finally have the urge to say: I' AM CONTENT, and i'm going to keep it like that. i been surrounded by epic fails, bad negativity, and bullshit kid games, i think it's time to move on and get this shit together.

my mindset has been way off, and it can be hard trying to process things in and out on a good note. i feel like i been way too stressed out, especially over stupid little shit. i'm sick and tired of this repetitiveness, its fucking ridiculous. i want something new... something refreshing PLEASE, something that can get me out of here.

i will admit though there's something that i wish i could change, there's days i miss like hell, i crave for those moments to somehow re-appear again, but then again, we can't always can't get what we want... i just get these weird signals and hints, i just hope you haven't forgotten about me. i just know, i'm not even going to loose anymore friends over a stupid reason, that shouldn't even be a reason to cut & end our friendship in the beginning..

but, till then, i shall do what i need to do, keep myself occupied, and get this going. this is about be interesting.

part1

i haven't sat here in hella long, my walls look the same, the pictures and posters seem to all be creasing and haven't been moved around in ages, its all dual and the same old shit. this was the last place i wanted be. i feel lost and confused. alone, matter of fact. i think, my head hurts... and this time i admit, i feel like i'm heart broken in a way. things felt so good the past weeks, i never thought it could end so quick... i never even saw it coming.

i was so far away from feeling like this. i was on top of my game, doing things out of the ordinary, never knew i would be spending, or doing the things i done with these people the past few weeks. i pretty much got what i wanted in a long time. i was working, going to school, spending my days wisely, my morning and nights with my friends, getting high, getting drunk, meeting new people, going on random adventures, finding someone who was out of blue.... i was finally smiling again... god damn, i had things good.

i'm lost for words. i don't even know where to begin, to ever start explaining myself to what the hell went wrong. i have no idea, what the hell did i do? i try to retrace my steps back, and i can't think of one god damn thing. did i say something to offend you? did i not get you every time we were out and about? did i bring you to the wrong kick-its or parties? did i talk and mumble boring and useless shit? please let me know what the hell i did wrong.

i'm so sick of this high school, immature bullshit. i feel like i'm stuck in a circle, just keep going and going, never making it to the end. everyone keeps telling me to do the same shit, to be careful, to lay low, to wait, to just go with the flow because he just got out of a relationship, because he's pissed because of what SHE did, because its maybe too early, that i shouldn't do this or that. whoa, whoa. wait one fucking minute, when this become a one man show? when the fuck does my feelings come in to play? HELLO, i'm part of this situation too, so why am i the one having to sit around, and wait for answers before its too late.

people don't get it do they? they give me all these answers, this advice, and don't get me wrong i'm more and gladly to sit down and listen to what you THINK is right. please, come and be in my shoes, and tell me how the hell you would do this. i didn't fucking do shit, once again. all i was doing was being a good friend, tried to bring to clubs, my friends kick it and parties, making sure you weren't being left behind by spotting you for all the blunts, the drinks, the drive and rides, keeping you in a good mood to help you forget the drama and show you that there's more out there than her...

god fucking shit, i feel like all this shit is starting to become repetitive and this is no good. i feel like i been here... maybe twice or even more... this is starting to scare me. at this moment, i don't know what to do.. don't know who to talk to... i feel alone. everywhere i turn and look, everyone is starting to find a significant other, and its starting to hurt even more.

great.....i can't even fucking think anymore....

just someone please help me regain my hope and faith back,

before its too late.

restart.

be careful for what you wish for.

here we go again.mp3

it was too good to be true.

hello & goodbye.

damn, its been forever. i'm sorry, and i feel bad that i haven't been blogging. i guess, i have been way too busy.. and just never have time to actually say anything... because for once, things have been going the way it should of been all along.

there's too many damn things to mention, to jot down, to even explain to you what has been going on. i'll admit its all not butterflies and smiles.. there was a couple times, i should of never done, but you know what? like we always say, "SHIT HAPPENS."

my mind is already coming to a blank, so i'll come back another day, and try once more.

just wanted to let you know

like i said before i really just want to move on and forget. and guess what? i have, and i very happy with my decision.

finally something feels right.